Kim Jong-Il Changes Name
North Korean Dictator Demands Homies Now Address Him as Kim Jong-Def
North Korean Dictator Kim Jong-Il announced this morning that he has officially changed his name to Kim Jong-Def. “Il is just not who I am anymore,” said the Pyongyang-based strongman in a written statement. “North Korea is hot. I’m just trying to get some positivity up in here.”
Kim Jong, who first rose to fame in petty dictator circles on the east side of Pyongyang in the 1970s and 80s under the moniker Kim Jong-Smoove, adopted the name Kim Jong-Il in 1989 to protest what he saw as “the shitty way the world community was treating NK and all the disrespect we were getting. That time was definitely illin’.”
But the dictator, who took power after his father passed away in 1994, thinks his nation is on the upswing and wanted to reflect a resurgent North Korea. “We’ve gone nuclear, we’ve got color television,” he said on a recent appearance on the Tony Danza show. “Life in the North is off the hook.”
Critics aren’t sure the change is genuine, however, and believe Kim Jong is just trying to steal the spotlight from the American presidential candidates. Sources tell Daley World News that George W. Bush was planning to rechristen himself Freshie G over the weekend to try and connect with younger voters. John Kerry followed suit, filing paperwork with the Suffolk county clerk’s office to change his name to Horseface Killah’.
North Korean Dictator Kim Jong-Il announced this morning that he has officially changed his name to Kim Jong-Def. “Il is just not who I am anymore,” said the Pyongyang-based strongman in a written statement. “North Korea is hot. I’m just trying to get some positivity up in here.”
Kim Jong, who first rose to fame in petty dictator circles on the east side of Pyongyang in the 1970s and 80s under the moniker Kim Jong-Smoove, adopted the name Kim Jong-Il in 1989 to protest what he saw as “the shitty way the world community was treating NK and all the disrespect we were getting. That time was definitely illin’.”
But the dictator, who took power after his father passed away in 1994, thinks his nation is on the upswing and wanted to reflect a resurgent North Korea. “We’ve gone nuclear, we’ve got color television,” he said on a recent appearance on the Tony Danza show. “Life in the North is off the hook.”
Critics aren’t sure the change is genuine, however, and believe Kim Jong is just trying to steal the spotlight from the American presidential candidates. Sources tell Daley World News that George W. Bush was planning to rechristen himself Freshie G over the weekend to try and connect with younger voters. John Kerry followed suit, filing paperwork with the Suffolk county clerk’s office to change his name to Horseface Killah’.
posted by JD at 10:15 PM
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