Bush Concludes Pact With Satan

Sends Daughter Jenna to Rule the Underworld as Favored Concubine of Beelzebub


Jenna Bush Salutes the Arrival of Her Dark Lord and Master at the Inaugural Ball

Washington, D.C.—On Thursday night, hours after George Bush’s swearing in, the Prince of Darkness arrived at the Black Tie and Boots Inaugural Ball to collect his prize, Jenna Bush, promised to him by the President in exchange for delivering Ohio to the Republicans. The Monarch of Hell, decked out in a white- linen Sean John tuxedo, strode into the ballroom atop a foul seven headed beast spraying vile filth and vermin from its hoary mouths. The Lord of the Flies then danced several songs with Laura Bush before sweeping a delighted Jenna up into his arms and dashing out of the ballroom in a fantastic firestorm of screeching twisted souls.
“That was quite a spectacle,” Bush later told the press. “Reminds me of when Newt Gingrich left Congress! But really, that guy has style. He must have more money than the Bin Ladens. I think Jenna will be happier in the netherworld, which she says reminds her of Texas.”
Jenna’s twin sister Barbara, it was later revealed, was recently engaged to the Egyptian god Osirus, and will be ritually sacrificed in the Rose Garden at an official state dinner next month.