Judge Orders Stickers Placed On Foreheads of All Georgians

Will Read “Evolution Is Just A Theory—See Evidence Below”

Atlanta—In the wake of a Federal decision ordering the State of Georgia to remove stickers from biology texts saying that evolution is only a theory, the same judge ordered stickers placed on the foreheads of all Georgia residents reading “Evolution is Just a Theory—See Evidence Below.”
“After ordering the stickers removed from the textbooks,” says Judge Herbert Florsheim, “I began to doubt the validity of evolution. How could these people be the pinnacle of natural selection? I mean, ATV accidents are their number one killer. I don’t know if it’s creationism, but something else is at work here.”
The citizens of Georgia have embraced the stickers, and wear them with pride. “The sticker is a little itchy,” says T. Picken Oswald, postmaster of Toluca. “But it’s worth the discomfort. I want the world to know that I am not evolved.”
So far, fourteen toddlers have died after the stickers were improperly placed over their mouths.