Trends: Top New Bar Drinks for 2005

Eric’s Slippery Colon—1 shot vodka topped with prune juice

The Lewinsky—Blue Curacao, dollop of egg white

The Bush—Place a pink umbrella in an empty glass

The Kerry—Fill a long, tall glass with a high-class, heroic, but wholly unapproachable and uncharismatic beaujolais and drink alone, sitting on the floor behind the bar

Penis Colada—Crushed ice, light rum, canned pineapple, cream of coconut, cream of bartender, blended

Sex on the Bus—1 ounce vodka, 1 ounce peach schnapps, 1 ounce cranberry juice, 1 ounce orange juice, and 40 ounces of Colt .45

Sin and Tonic—Bombay Sapphire, tonic, lime wedge, sipped from your sister-in-law’s belly button

Dirty Zamboni—Squeegee off the bar into a glass. Fill with crushed ice.

The Rummy—Fill 1,300 shot glasses with the finest cognac. Nonchalantly knock each one off the bar while categorically denying that there are any problems.

Bloody Harry—Vodka, horseradish, Tabasco, Worcestershire, celery salt, pepper, clam juice, tomato juice, run hands across head, garnish with any stray hairs

The Trump—Fill shotglass with half Goldschlager, half Cristal. Light and scream “You’re fired!” before drinking. Declare bankruptcy when finished.

The King of Pop—Mix equal parts Irish cream and coffee. Dissolve contents of 17 Pixie Stix in mixture and offer to your favorite small child.