Iraq Formally Asks America To Smell Its Finger

Bush Says It Smells Like Victory; Harry Reid Smells Poo


Washington, D.C.—The nation of Iraq officially asked the United States to smell its finger this morning in a ceremony in the White House Rose Garden. Iraqi Prime Minister Iyad Allawi proudly presented the index finger of his right hand to President Bush, members of the Cabinet, and members of Congress. “Please,” said Allawi, “I request that you sniff my finger as a representative of the fingers of my people.” Attendees took turns sniffing the digit, which Allawi extended for 45 minutes. “It smells like Victory,” said Bush. Cheney said the aroma was definitely “crude oil” while Senate minority leader Harry Reid said it smelled like a pile of shit. Condoleeza Rice said it smelled like whatever the President thought it smelled like. Rumsfeld refused to smell the finger, but lectured the press corps, saying “Look, you’re going to spin this any way you’re going to spin this. This finger smells like what a finger should smell like, nothing more, nothing less.” Hillary Clinton was convinced the scent was from her husband’s ass. Joe Lieberman said the finger smelled like his own ass, which he has been offering to the Republicans for the last four years.
“It is right and honorable that the Iraqis should give us the finger,” Bush said in remarks to the crowd. “Fingers is where our nations finds hope, where wings take dream.”